Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
