I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
