What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
