I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
