I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
