You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Randomize
