You're my little dorito
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
A bitchslap is in order.
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