only you would photoshop your dick
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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