you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
