And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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