i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
