Don't you send me to vm
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
