you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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