dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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