i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
