it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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