hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
