ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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