is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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