apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
im six kinds of drunk right now
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
