just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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