He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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