Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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