good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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