For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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