bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
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