You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
