We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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