your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
