I want to walk on stilts...naked
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
