Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
