This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
So squirting runs in the family.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Couch. On fire.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
