A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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