It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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