What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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