Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
