i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
