So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
