Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
