What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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