people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
