I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
