i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
