That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
no you cant smoke seaweed
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
