I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
