Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
So gin and wine won't be happening again
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
