Farmville is her only friend.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
