Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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