i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
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