So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize